A mother’s labor of love and worry lasts a lifetime

By Angela Jones

I read recently that the stress that a woman may endure during her pregnancy can affect her health throughout the remainder of her life. It can cause high blood pressure, a weakened immune system and a myriad of other health issues. After reading this I began to think about the many stressful situations a woman may encounter before, during and after pregnancy. It is enough to really make your head spin and give you even more respect for a woman’s choice to become a mom. Before a pregnancy begins, a woman thinking about becoming a mother may ask herself, “Will my partner and I be good parents?” A woman may also have financial concerns while planning a family. Often, pregnancies are not planned and can cause even greater stress over ‘making ends meet.’ Once a woman becomes pregnant, she may worry about her health and the health of her unborn child. An expectant mother may feel that she is eating too much or not enough to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Overeating during pregnancy can cause gestational diabetes and not eating enough can cause a child to be born prematurely or with low birth weight. There is a book called “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” that I recommend for pregnant women. It has information on just about every scenario that an expectant mother may incur during pregnancy. It helps take some of the worry out of the situation. For example, a woman may feel some uncomfortable cramping, and rather than immediately heading to the emergency room, the book explains that some cramping, called Braxton-Hicks contractions, is normal. During delivery there is true cause for concern for women of color. According to the American Diabetes Association, non-Hispanic African American women are more than three times more likely to die during pregnancy, labor and delivery or within one year of delivery than African European American women in the United States. It is believed that about two thirds of these deaths are preventable. Once a child is born, there are all sorts of other concerns new mothers face. They may worry about how to put a child to sleep to ensure they are safe at night. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is still a concern for children during the first year of their lives. As children get older, the cause for concern does not stop. “Is my child developing at a ‘normal’ rate? Will he succeed in school? Is he being bullied at school? Is he being discriminated against at school?” While all of these are legitimate questions, mothers can only do what is within their power to mitigate risks. Some people may think that homeschooling one’s child is going to the extreme, however, parents who homeschool have fewer of those types of concerns. Recent incidences of police brutality against people of color are also legitimate concerns for mothers and really society as a whole. There is recent talk about enacting new laws to combat this problem. Honestly, I believe that there are enough laws on the books currently to deal with a lot of these issues. The constitution affords everyone “due process.” That means that it is illegal for a police officer to be the judge, jury and executioner when dealing with the public. What we need are people who care enough to enforce the laws that currently exist and prosecute all of the bad actors, in law enforcement and elsewhere, who want to harm people of color. There is definitely a need for more African American lawyers, prosecutors and judges. There are some laws that do not exist which could improve policing, including tying funding to police departments to their recruiting matching the demographics of the communities they serve. If a community is made up of 60% African Americans but their police force is made up of only 20% African Americans, that police department should not be eligible for federal funding. There are some worrisome situations that mothers can control and some that they cannot. As a society, we should do our best to limit these concerns for mothers. Pregnant women, especially, should be insulated from as much stress as possible since research has shown that stress hormones can enter the amniotic fluid and have a negative impact on an unborn child. We want mothers to be as happy and worry-free as possible because they are the glue that holds families and communities together. Mothers have to remember that the easiest way to be stress free is to “Let go and let God.”